So, okay, Monday I went on my first date here in Rexburg. It took me two weeks to get a date... what is wrong with me. Anyway, it was fun; had a good time... I won't bore you with details here.
Classes were so-so - in my Sports Law class we're doing a debate on American Football which is a freaking blast and I'm basically a football expert now, let's be honest. Speaking of football, the Broncos are amazing, the Cowboys suck, and the score currently stands at 38-27. BAM.
This weekend the girls and I went out for a little retail therapy, spent more money than we should have, and satisfied my craving for Taco Bell (I swear, I'm a little in love with that stuff.) We also watched both of the Insidious movies and The Conjuring. Obviously we needed an adrenaline rush. Don't judge.
Also, there was General Conference which was really something I needed. I love listening to our prophet; I just want to hug him every time I do.
(This was us this morning for conference. We're all twinners - aren't we purty?)
Okay, so then skipping back to Wednesday morning, I got up at 5:00 for my military fit class like I do every other day, and headed out to the track. That morning we were doing Indian runs, ladders, and then sprints for the hour of class. Now, I am big on running. I practically live in my Nikes and if I don't fit in a couple miles each work out I feel like I just failed life. However, I have a confession. *ahem* ... I hate it. I absolutely despise running. I literally have to force myself to step onto that track and the entire time I'm going, my thoughts are a constant downward spiral.
"I hate this."
"My lungs hurt."
"I really need to lose weight."
"My hair probably looks dumb."
"My form sucks."
"Why do I even have this song."
"This is stupid."
"My life is stupid."
Get the idea? Good. This is what I force myself to go through every blasted day for the sake of staying healthy. WELL, Wednesday morning, whilst in the midst this, I had a thought. Actually, it was a bunch of thoughts, so here goes. On Pinterest I'm a little addicted to the Health/Fitness board. I love looking at motivational quotes, saying, etc. One that I see all the time goes something along the lines of "Your mind gives up long before your body does."
So, while I was running and hating myself, this line suddenly popped into my head and my thoughts took it a step further. My mind isn't formulating these negative thoughts all on its own. I'd consider myself a fairly positive person most days, so these aren't really the norm for me. That's when I realized that my running period each day has become Satan's prime time to attack me.
Like a majority of teenage girls, I've always been self-conscious and while I'm on my run, I really am my most vulnerable. Satan is so bloody jealous that I am here on this earth, in a physical body. He hates the fact that I can exercise and strengthen this amazing gift God has given to me. He can't stand the thought that I get to feel the satisfaction of sore calves or a heart that's beating against my chest after a run. These things just kill him.
Satan wants nothing more than for me to believe that my body weak, incapable, and worse than the girl's ahead of me on the track. He wants me to be ungrateful and as miserable as he is.
Well, guess what bro? I caught on to you that morning. I'll admit, the whole thing was very clever, but luckily for me, I figured it out before some real damage was done.
It's only been a couple days since, but already I've noticed a different once I hit the track. Running is still hard. That hasn't changed and it's not going to change because physical exercise isn't supposed to be easy. If it was, everyone would be doing it. My state of mind, however, has completely turned around. With each mile I remind myself just how lucky I am to have the gift of a healthy, young, active body. I remember that I am strong - I am blessed - and that every time I run, I'm literally fighting a battle with the devil. And guess what? Now, I'm winning every time.
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